Jun 24, 2016

Some Days - A Break


I think that is what is in my head right now.

When I fight and try to get things going. And the world get's in my face and slowsssss me down to a crawl. 

I think that was going through my head on I-10 in the beautiful Texas 97 degree heat. Where it get's so bright it's hard to keep my eyes open. That bugs me more than the actual heat feeling. When I had to stop work for the fifth time today to drive in traffic and my phone is buzzing with emails I can't answer and deadlines I'm missing and a growing list of things I wanted to do but can't.


Between me and the computer

Or me and home

Or me and the idea

Or the idea and the tangible accomplishment

I was thinking I want the full story. Every detail. To jump to the end and say there it was. Sometimes I build on the chapter, sometimes the page, sometimes the paragraph, mostly it is sentence by sentence... but some days it's a struggle to think of a word.

I dream this vivid, complex, full story. A big picture. But how to find the right word to start it? That can be hard, cause at every moment there are all these small intrusions of life. Butting in and making turns and making changes.


And they are bad things, or anybody's fault... they just happen. It doesn't make it less frustrating, just nobodies fault.

Just a rant. For all the self-actualizing dreamers out there. I know you feel it too.



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Jun 9, 2016

Black Ribbons Pt 3


It was the alley after the show.
Moon rising to midnight over clouds, and the heavy, wet air swimming into my lungs. I feel like it might rain.

-Where are you going?

To the left was main street. The lights of the club front. People wandering from bar to bar and an occasional swoosh of tires against the road. 

And to right. A parking garage standing in concrete darkness. And the sounds of words disappearing.

-Nowhere to go. 
Knowing the places I don't want to be.
Knowing the places I'd rather be.
And to be here
with no where to go

Thinking to myself as a streak of sweat fell down from my forehead off my left eyebrow down into my tear duct. I can still remember the sting of the salt.

"What are you doing out here?" her voice softly groaned, letting her chords relax, frying in her loose shake.

- I hadn't seen her there...
 a door across the alley...
Or had I? 

She was leaning. Though I couldn't see, her bare back to the wall messing with her nails. Hair cut short and jet black. Like her leggings. Like her boots. Like her over-sized jacket wrapped around her waist.

"Well?" she insisted slowly.

"Just getting air." 

One step at a time I left the back door of the club. Feeling a slight breeze run over me. Night. 

"What are you doing out here?"


And I could feel the sweat on my forehead again. And the cold chill of my shirt wet around from my neck down my chest. 

Shows are a sweaty. Tonight more so. The club had decided to bake me under the front lights. 

Red and Blue. Heat.

She jumped out into the street, "I thought you were pretty good... considering."

I laughed, "considering." 

"I usually don't..." shifting left and right, "it's not my kinda music. Plus they had your vocals way too low." She smiled and started to fidget with a bracelet on her left hand.

"Happens I guess. Maybe next time."

and I saw her bracelet. Black Ribbons. Fringed.

She started walking to the parking lot. "There's a party later tonight."

Of all these places,
where you'd rather be
where you wouldn't
there really is only the place you are
and the places you are going


ps. as always like, share, subscribe and if you want to talk you can reach me on this blog, youtubefacebook and twitter