Mar 24, 2016

One Day At A Time.

I don't have a lot of words today...

Just got out of an appointment to meet my physical therapist. To catch you up, I had an injury during SXSW last week. Shoulder and left hand feel busted. And the impact is radiating down through my back and legs. I don't know how much I feel like talking about it yet. Something's take time to digest. I'm not the kind of guy to just react quickly.

I think I'll be digesting this for a while.

My body takes time to heal.

My mind takes time to absorb.

My words are slow to form. 

I'm also a little bit tired of explaining what happened. It's one of those things that people don't understand the terminology and so they can't understand what I'm going through. Or it least it feels that way. 

I say I was hit by a lighting rig, and they look at me like what is that. So I describe it to them. 

More questions. 

More details. 

Then they ask me about being in a band. Am I famous. Etc. 

I feel like I'm talking more than I need to. And all I think about is this constant pain. 

Morning. Day. Night.

This pain is with me. 

Morning. Day. Night.

I'm reminded.

Morning. Day. Night.

I have realized one thing. I'm still getting used to asking for help. I don't know what I'd be doing if it wasn't for Rachel. Convincing me I need help. I've always done things on my own. And after all the years of her helping, I thought I'd be better at accepting it, but like I said I'm slow to accept. Slow to absorb. Slow at understanding.

I have some shows planned in the near future that are now in question. I'll be doing my videos. This blog. Poetry. Do my therapy. One day at a time. Breathing helps. And heat.

All that and listening to Wilco.

One day at a time.


ps. as always like, share, subscribe and if you want to talk you can reach me on this blog, youtubefacebook and twitter

Mar 10, 2016

Refresher, Things To Be Done...

Last weekend was the best weekend. When I actually took some time for myself, put down the work for a little bit, still did some but hey, my life is always a changing process, hung out with my wife and son, and got to recharge. 

I think I had been too involved in working, but that just means I need to recenter. Every day was turning out to be exactly like the day before, and I needed to make a conscious effort to be awake. To be aware. It is never ending. Maybe I need to get back to a regular meditative practice....

Anyway The Weekend Playlist has been a blast, the studio is going so smoothly, 2 new songs mixed, and my poetry has been doing really well on Instagram. So happy that my words are being read! Can't tell you how long I've wanted to share things and I love all the positivity. Big thanks to Whosthatgirl2013 and Poetry4real for the kindness.

I'll be gearing up for SXSW. Practice. Practice. Weekend Playlist. Practice. 

Putting some Idyll Green shows on the touring book, that's right I'm talking shows soon...

Launching our podcast Why Didn't I Write That? in the next few weeks.

And for sure, I'll try to spend another evening with my boy watching the bats fly out from the lake. Happiest moment in a long time. 

Also try to write a new poem? I don't know


check out a little bit of what my music is here too:

ps. as always like, share, subscribe and if you want to talk you can reach me on this blog, youtubefacebook and twitter

Mar 3, 2016

Dogs Pt III

Montreal was quiet. Sunlight poured low and soft. Broken rays across the last few streets as I made my way back to the club. Two more lights, then a left, then over the hill... 

I think...

Seemed like a lot of places were closed. Bars shut over windows and plexi-doors with heavy pad locks. Some things looked familiar, a rooftop, a statue, a falafel shack. But they seemed off, or I was off? Time's I'd like to have my phone. 

I raced across a do not walk before a line of cars, 'I'm usually good about remembering my way,' I'm thinking as I turn behind a grocers into an alley where I came across a group of windows. A row of apartments tucked behind the store front. 

And at the end, about a block down, I can see the sunlight again cutting over a patch of green.

'I've passed thru a park coming over,' I'm trying to assure myself, but there's this little ball of nervousness that I'm lost, 'Has to be the same one.'

I'm about to pick up my pace, when a sound caught me. A crack. Like the split of a tree branch. Something heavy bearing out splinters. I quickly saw in my mind pieces of a branch tearing apart. The crack bounced out over my head down the open air of the alley.

Then a scream. 

A man. Deep voiced and French above my head. I looked around me. Empty. The alley was still. Until I saw an open window on the third floor behind me. 

A black half-window curtain slipped in and out of the alley. 

And the sound of cracking came back. Splintering.

I froze. The window and the curtain gently threw out his shouting. And then the worst sound. Two whacks and the screech of an animal. A high frightened cry of mortal fear. Of weakness and pain. A yelp. And another whack. 

The yelp is nearly imperceptible under this yelling. There are some things that need no translation. Anger is one. Fear is another.

And I'm frozen in this alley. Listening. Phone-less. Useless. A cold witness. And something is desperate in my throat, but the only thing I can think, "Hey!"

Another crack.

"Hey!" I tried louder.

Crack. Crack.


Then silence.

He appeared head first. Bald. Built like ugly, mustache-less version of Tom Hardy in Bronson. Massive and evil.

"F**k you want?!?" He called down, pointing out a large chunk of wood that looked like a table leg right at me. 

"What's going on?" I answered.

"What?" He said something else I couldn't understand before cocking his head, "F**k off. F**k off right now..." 

And we were still. In a deadlock. 

And I just about ran out of ideas. I could see his anger grow, a nostril flared, a wider eye. And just before he could say anything, another window opened, and an older lady started yelling across the way in French. 

Pointing at him. At me. 

She was vicious. Blue hair. Translucent white skin. And vicious.

Bronson yelled back and the old lady held out a corded phone yelling even more. Then she pointed back at me, and asked something. Tone doesn't need translating either, it was a question. But I missed it. 

"I dunno," I answered.

The old woman brushed me off and went back to yelling at the big guy. 

"No, NO," the bald man yelled back to her, "No."

But by then another neighbor had come out, an older man in his forties put his hand on my shoulder. He was thin, olive skinned. He shook his head and pointed up to the bald man, whispering in French. 

"I don't know man,"

"American?" he asked kindly.

"I've got to go," I said and threw my thumb back to the park.

Slowly walked away towards the end of the alley, and the falling sunset. As the thin man said something behind me. And I left the yelling of the old woman and the bald man. Left with this knot in my soul. But a feeling stayed. Emptiness is not a thing to easily shake. It stays. Like the sound of a crack. Like the sound of a terrified animal whimpering. Like the fear of being nothing but a curtain blowing out into the alley. 


ps. as always like, share, subscribe and if you want to talk you can reach me on this blog, youtubefacebook and twitter