I've never cared too much for Thanksgiving, always liked Halloween better, but this year I have a lot to be thankful for. Things I know are beyond me that through whatever mysterious universal forces are at play have been given to me. Things I never thought possible. Things I can hold.
Love. Happiness. Purpose.
I've made new friends, new music, new writings. Seen life take shape in front of me. It's beautiful.
When I started writing, I was fourteen, filled with varying levels of anger, isolation, pride, and love. That kid couldn't see far enough into the future to know what the next month was going to be like much less to be able to see this; where I am now. Where it has taken me.
Especially when things were at their worst. But a few years ago I decided to try and take my life into my own hands. To take charge of my own happiness and the fruit from that small, innocuous seed has finally started to appear. However small. However fragile. But I can see it now.
When I started writing, I was fourteen, filled with varying levels of anger, isolation, pride, and love. That kid couldn't see far enough into the future to know what the next month was going to be like much less to be able to see this; where I am now. Where it has taken me.
Especially when things were at their worst. But a few years ago I decided to try and take my life into my own hands. To take charge of my own happiness and the fruit from that small, innocuous seed has finally started to appear. However small. However fragile. But I can see it now.
This week is the first week I've spent everyday in the studio just ripping through ideas. Finished some ideas for Red this week, working on a new Idyll Green song, and a new one for Larry.
Also started a new draft of a novel I've been working on. Something I've put away for a while because it's a little terrifying. Music I know. Music I have confidence. But novel writing is naked and new and beautiful and self-defeating and horrifying and divine. I'm very excited about it cause I have a possible lead on publishing it, if I can buckle down my editing...
So for now, I'm just gonna ride this wave for a while, wherever it takes me. Writing more of my travel story for next week.
until then
- rene
as always if you want to talk you can reach me on this blog, and @hacienda_tx on twitter. much love.
as always if you want to talk you can reach me on this blog, and @hacienda_tx on twitter. much love.
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